Back in the saddle

 

Welcome to my very first blog.  I’m Mrs Robinson and I’ve decided its time to share my  interesting or maybe funny divorce journey.  There’s been a lot of infamous Mrs Robinson’s and one was even credited with a song, the naughty minx! Along the way, I will also be sharing some tips on having a happy positive life after divorce.  No, divorce doesn’t kill you although at some stage you actually think it might with all the ridiculous arguments that comes with it. Yes you can get through it and do all those things you always wanted to do.  I will also share some of my travel stories since divorce.  Also some travel stuff. Yes you can backpack in your 30’s and visit those inspirational places you always wanted to see.

But let’s get back to divorce. With more and more people divorcing these days and I’m still not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. I mean, should we stay in an unhappy marriage for the sake of it and work at it for your children, or should you leave and work at repairing yourself and the people around you that have long suffered your moaning about your marriage for god knows how long.  If you’re like me and didn’t have any children, then the decision was far too easy.  I left.

Let me give you some background as to how I came to be where I am.  You see, I was married for 18 years, he was married for 6 months!  Yes the old infidelity strikes again.  I knew this from the start and still married him, but I was young and naive.  But please don’t get me wrong.  I’m not a woman scorned and I’m still amicable with my ex.  We did have some amazing years. I know, I know, that’s weird to some, but I don’t believe in holding grudges and I’m really to old to be bothered anyway.  At this age I can barely remember to put a bra on each day, let alone remember to be angry at someone.

So after divorce and having had my own business for 18 years I was completely lost.  What do I do!  I had no valid credentials on paper, even though I had been the CEO of a lucrative financially wealthy business for so long that we had started from nothing, I had no degree.  It seems no-one wants to employ you unless you have a degree.  But that’s a whole other story and please don’t get me started on that.  When I left I was completely broken and I was completely lacking in confidence on how to survive on my own.  To add to that, I was fairly well known through business and it seems everyone had something to say about the fact that I was ‘on the market’.

Now I hadn’t dated since I was 16 when I first met my ex hubby.  So this confident business woman was now trembling in her size 5 heels.

So that brings me to ‘what the hell am I doing next’.  I did what any self serving, business minded, intelligent woman would do.  I became a Real Estate agent.  Yes, I know, your laughing.  But this venture turned out to be a great one.  I had to promote myself, otherwise you didn’t make the sales.  And this was the best thing I could have ever done.  It built my self confidence and let people know I was still a serious business woman that can take care of herself and not have to rely on my man.

But I soon got bored of this and after a few years I decided the unthinkable and moved clean across the world to live.  A fresh start and I have never looked back.

So this brings me to another area of life.  Getting back in the saddle in the world of dating.  Actually perhaps saddle isn’t quite the right word, after all, we ride on saddles!

Right I’m Single!

Single, Invigorating, Naughty, Gorgeous, Lunatic, Erratic!

Heres ‘The Rule Book’

I teach myself happy and confidence methods all the time, but I still cant seem to get myself on the dating scene.  I’m at the peak of my life, lets say between 40 and 55 years old, because a woman never tells her age, but I look like I’m between 30 and 40 and have  been on four dates throughout my entire life.  I’m terrified of it.  I’ve never done it.  I don’t know if I can do it and the more I tell myself this the more terrified I become.  I can meet a man in a pub and chat for hours, maybe even enjoy it, but the second he asks to see me again I retreat faster than Custer’s last stand!

Now don’t get me wrong, a girl does have needs and the odd one night stand might have surfaced.  This was another completely new area for me.  I was young when I met my ex and my experience with men was limited. But guess what.  You CAN teach an old dog new tricks. Wink wink.  But the dating scene made me feel physically sick.

Note to self: I intend to meet my perfect man by falling front of him, looking up and falling madly in love, he will then sweep me off my feet and whisk me away to some tropical destination to live happily ever after.

Simple.  That’s how it works isn’t it.  That chance encounter, you fall down, he picks you up, you look up into his eyes, that steamy look, love at first sight, everlasting love.  Right, perfect, here I go.

Step 1 – add myself to every dating website possible.

Result – a wink, hello gorgeous, hey sexy or your hot message from everyone of the most unsuitable men around the globe.  I only seem to attract 20-30yr olds looking for The Cougar, “an older woman experience”, or over 60’s men looking for a younger woman.  It seems to be an impossibility to meet a man my age when they all want are younger woman.  Am I doomed to be with Mr Retired at my age?

Step 2 – For the first time, I will actually let someone take my phone number instead of giving out a false one, blowing them off or disappearing before they get the chance to ask.  If I take their number, it’s a no goer from that moment, as I will never pluck up the courage to message them.

Result – Cheeky buggers who are just after a bit of fun and whom I had obviously had met when I had ridiculously ginormous beer goggles on the night before, which also results in them consistently texting me in the middle of the night when they are suitably tanked for a, ahem, “booty call”.  Now I know I can be cheeky but come on, 3am and I will pop my eyes open and say why of course, come round and jump into bed with me.

Step 3 – Let my friends set me up with a friend

Result – My friends taste in men are nothing like mine and moving forward I awkwardly have to see these men I have rejected, every time we go out as a group.

Result for this is an all round uncomfortable time….
Result for that is to drink more…..

Result for that is a drunken night…

Result for that is back to Step 2 results of ginormous beer goggles

Step 4 – Get a hobby.

Result – still trying to find a man that likes knitting.

But in all seriousness, I would love to hear from some other divorcees, male and female on their experiences.